I started this blog to write about my adventures with post-concussion syndrome. I haven’t written much because there is not much to say. It is soon two years since the concussion, and my battle for treatment has been pretty much uphill. This week – finally – I have started my head trauma evaluation, as to figure out the extent of the damage and what rehabilitation should help to get back to the real world.
It is amazing the feeling when a doctor telling you that yes, what you are experiencing is due to a concussion and not stress. That my symptoms coincide with what other people with concussions have experienced, and there is a way to live with it. Worst is that they told me that most people take 4 years of seeing different doctors and psychiatrists until receiving the right treatment.
It is strange to be here right now. I realised, as I met the psychologist this week, that I am living in an odd reality. As she read the notes from our previous meeting in April, I came to realise that a lot of my complains today, which I thought were new, are the same as my complains in April. It is scary when the doctor actually tells you on the spot that my memory capacity is in fact not good at all after doing some neuropsychological test. Or even more when another doctor tells me that she understood that I didn’t recognise her at first (having met her briefly 10 mins before). Worst is when the third doctor repeatedly tests my feelings on my left and right legs, arms and hands with feathers, pens and needles, and actually realising that I feel more on one side than the other.
I have another week of evaluation and then I will know how my rehabilitation will look like. I don’t want to be sent home and be told that it will pass in a few weeks, that my complains are because of stress, and that I am just need rest. It has been two years of living in the moment, reading books and series just to pass the time but not really following the story, waiting for something and yet nothing, a miracle of some sort, maybe waking up and continuing my life.
My life and ambitions are on stand-by. It sucks really.